My first job

Final year of college , first campus TCS came to our college. As expected it will recruit a bunch, and it proved itself by announcing 180 recruited names on 24th sep 2011 midnight. I was one of them, was happy just by looking others excited with this placement, that recruitment made my family pleased but didn't really moved me.

Months later there came another opportunity for CSC , one who were placed in TCS were not allowed to sit in that, but top 5 from each branch were allowed. So I was privileged to attempt to it. Recruitment was scheduled on 1st Feb 2012 it was meant to be long process, I geared myself to give it whole hearted try but the written process was more familiar to computer stream guys, still some how I managed to go through the 2 rounds of written,then a Group discussion and then Technical followed by HR interview. So till 8 PM, I with 12 others was placed in CSC.

With choices in your plate , you are always unsure which one is sweeter.For me both options were equal, because that was an IT job. After days of contemplation CSC was finalized and I was ready to enter in professional world on 8th Aug 2012.

First day. 30 joiners were welcomed and poured with limelight of the organization for the whole day and were made to feel honoured by the bankers, who were there to complete their targets(by opening whatsoever bank accounts) and naive like me were overwhelmed with the respect we were getting.

Days start passing with some or the other different experience, getting involved with the colleagues and proving oneself in the crowd. But I didn't know to whom I am trying to prove, was it to prove myself , or to others or was it just my natural behavior, to make a remark where ever I go. Whatever it was, at the end of month nothing matter except the 5 digit figures in your pocket. Got my first salary on 31st August 2014, 17 grands, it was not a full month salary, but was sufficient to bring smile with tears to my family. I distributed the pleasure to everyone, even to my girlfriend's parents, who were none other than family to me.

Initial 3-4 months were more or less like campus because of training sessions, Table tennis, carom etc. But this time was enough to get transit in corporate world. I was there on a way  to prove myself cleared the training test with highest marks and was 1st one to get onto production floor to work on live projects. Well that was amazing ! And yes I made a remark and message went right to the Hyderabad, where senior/experienced team including manager were located. But something was still pinching me from inside, this may be due to the mirror showed by colleagues and a bit by my inner instincts. 

One of the statements from colleague that haunted me for days  was "I am 60% and you are _ % , we both are standing at same position, earning same, working on same thing, what is the difference? how  does it matters ? what have you achieved ? What diff have you made by studying hard in college ?"
He was correct, and it was truth hard to face, should I blame system for this or is this my incompetence.

My inner instincts always told me that I am not among IT personnel, never felt familiar with them. I always felt that I don't belong here.

Many times I was made to realize that I am no different, not a winner by being here, sometimes by strangers(who were my team mates) and sometimes by one whom I thought to be friend from college times. But it was professional world, you have to be open for it. People know your weak zone and will hit you there , so that when you fall, they will stand on your back, and lead.

But I tried to back myself with the confidence, that I had in college times. My dear ones also supported me a lot with this.

Time rolled by from then, I got used to with the happenings , politics and lifestyle change. Felt regretted at times due to not getting something that I deserved for. That was breaking me, my confidence, my self belief, my motivation.

Dam got burst now, I started becoming resilient toward my work, I took myself first , started analyzing what I need from myself, which way to go, I understood that this is not my cup of tea, I wont sustain here, I didn't wanted to do that for lifetime, only motivation that remained for me was money.

I decided to go for GATE. I started preparation with the job, I took night shifts because that allowed leverage of extra money, added with plenty of free time. Took distance education and attempted GATE , secured 491 rank, but that was not par to give me a launch...huh !! Understood that you can't study, when you have bolster of job and monthly money crediting in your account. This failure added a declining slope to my confidence level.

Now my life was demanding a big step from me and a show about, how serious I am, to myself. It was hard to decide, risky to attempt and courageous to act. I forced and blackmailed management to transfer me to Hyderabad, I was transferred within a week. I moved out of my comfort zone,to be self dependent for 1st time in 23 years of my life. Plan was to do join coaching there and QUIT JOB. So a week later joining at new location, I put down the resignation. But had to serve the notice period of 2 months.Then it all started ,with morning coaching and evening office, new location, new people, everything was new and I throw-ed New ME into it with full dedication.

Those 2 months came to an end on 31st Oct 2014 and yes I was unemployed with thrill, anxiety, fear and experience of 26 months.

I started walking on a dark path , with a torch in my hand and clear mindset to get rising sun at the end.

I thank my first job for giving me laziness due to night shifts, declining confidence due to face off, and giving discomfort for what I am doing. I thank some of the colleagues for putting me down.
I thank for the financial strength and in-dependency, without which it would be difficult for me to take step forward.
Above all I thank for all the earnings I had from my first job.I earned some very fine and everlasting friendship and relationships. I earned long moral sessions / discussions at dinner table. I earned some genuine moral booster lectures , some very inspiring teachings. I earned great mentor ship. I earned smiles for silliest things. I earned long you tube watched list. I earned connectivity turned bond turned addiction to amazing creations  of holly wood. I earned fun at night shifts. I earned brotherhood. I earned fights and then make ups. I earned a way of life.  

Chase your dreams , don't compromise with your life. Take stand for yourself and do what you want to do, sometimes situations will asking something else from you, deal with it, tackle with it and when you are done get back on your track. Don't let your dreams elude.

Best Wishes!!